intheblanks | ➹BEEPER

[He's making a point that she wishes he wouldn't, frustration crossing her features unchecked. Her mouth opens to say something, but she shuts it with a grimace. She'd leave him as just a doctor, if she could, and everyone knows that she's tried. Good morning, doctor.]

You know I wouldn't have gone there if I hadn't been carried.

[Which is not an answer.]

[God, all he'd wanted was to hold her until she slept. How the hell it's turned into him standing on the edge of a plank, choking out frustration is beyond him.]

Yeah, dying makes walking difficult. How much did I have to do with that, Carla? Because if that's what knowing me does to you, then fine. I'll do whatever you want. I'll walk away. Right now.

Don't flatter yourself.

[She wouldn't kill herself over him. She would just torment and denigrate herself. It's an entirely different scale.]

I'm not, I'm trying to figure out how much of an idiot you are. You just keep coming up with surprises.

[He shakes his head and looks down, a hand sliding over his face.]

I'm a problem. Because you like me?

You're a problem because I like you.

[And she's an idiot. Terrified of him and inexperienced in what it is to like or care for anyone for any reason other than they don't bore her.]

Thank you for finally saying it.

[He's still staring at the ground - at his feet, as he steps forward enough to edge her back along the gangplank.]

I've said it before, you just weren't listening.

[That was why she had punched him on her wedding day. She moves back uncertainly, doesn't like giving up the ground to him and frowns, hand curling around her forearm in an uncomfortable gesture..]

You also wanted to braid my hair.

[It's a different curse he's thinking of, but he glances up at her anyway. Another step.]

It was my hair that mattered.

[She'd said it. She'd meant it. You only asked me because you were cursed. But you weren't cursed to want to know. Now she's staring back at him with a furrow.]

It was quieter before you showed up.

[Before he put her on edge and asked her questions she didn't want to answer.]

It's quiet out here. [And it is, around them. Even the waves are quiet against the boat.] If it's noisy in there, try getting some of it out.

[Still encroaching.]

Got questions? Ask me.

[Well. If he really wants to know,]

Why won't you leave?

You had a chance to make me, you didn't. And I've left before, because you've told me to. I've yet to see how letting you avoiding your problems has been helpful.

[Although that's not all of it, the rest is far simpler.]

I wanted to see you.

You want to see me when you want to avoid your problems.

[How about that, Chase? And even when she says it, she sounds a little conflicted as to whether or not that bothers her.]

You might be the one person here with no room to lecture me on my avoidance strategies. [But.] I was an arse.

[But.]

That's not what I'm doing now.

I'm not lecturing.

[She's asking, and she's still waiting for an answer that's an answer.]

I see a lot of people when I want to avoid my problems. I'm not.. proud of it. I don't see most of them much after the next morning.

I see you because... sometimes, and trust me it can be a faint view, sometimes I see someone I think I can understand. And that person's become important to me.

[Well. There's an answer. She takes a hand to her hair, hesitating there at the top of the plank. She doesn't like the idea of being talked into compliance, but she's also tired of trying to talk him into going.

She turns to head below deck. She's mostly dry from the wind blowing over her, some dampness lingering in her thick hair, but she's still uncomfortably aware of how cold to the touch she is. She heads into the the main quarters, where at least there are some blankets to line between them.]

[He stands for a long minute on his own, out on the strip of wood stretching over the sea, before coming to find her, standing in the doorway.]

You don't know where you stand? Stand still for five minutes instead of continually running away and maybe I'll be able to figure that out.

[He fidgets, looking at his hands before turning his attention to what possessions she has in the cabin to make it anything like her own.]

I'd like to be more than a bad association to you.

[Fucks sake. She doesn't turn to face him, still pulling at the sheets on the bed.]

I've been perfectly still for years.

[She's thinking she might try a new approach.]

You haven't. And the fact that your body won't keep up has you clawing at it. For gods sake, put the blankets down.

[How he reached the point where he's standing at her shoulder is immaterial. The hands catching her arms, pulling her against him, probably aren't.]

[The blankets were something to do with her hands, something to avoid him with because there's nothing in this tiny little corner of the ship that belongs to her. There's nothing else to look at, nowhere else to turn except around to him, which means that she's cornered and caught now. It's tempting to let her tension bleed onto him. She's done it before, thrashed until he let her go. That feels like it was a long time ago.]

I don't know what you'd like to be.

[Maybe the slightest bit snide, as if she can put all of this on him, but the real answer is that she's avoided finding out.]

You've never let me find out. [He can't make promises. She's a disaster, he's little better, it's easier to list all the impossible things. But he's patient.] Right now, why don't we just go with 'here'.

Fine.

[Of course that's her answer, frustrated and petulant and terse, feeling stripped down and too raw, for once. But maybe that was what she wanted, what she'd been trying to get to. It's uncomfortable and she's stuck questioning once again why it is she's doing this; trying so hard.]

Fine. [He'll take fine, to stop a fight. And, because he can't help the reminder-] Are you this bad tempered with everyone you like?

[A minute and he reaches to the side of her, pulling the blankets she'd been so fastidious with up and off the bed in a magician's clean sweep.]

And what were you going to do with these?

Just the ones I hate.

[If that helps.]

I was thinking about going to bed.

[And keeping you on the far side of them, is that implied yet? She thinks it is.]

➹BEEPER

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