intheblanks: (Default)
Dr Robert Chase ([personal profile] intheblanks) wrote2019-10-10 04:08 am
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➹BEEPER




"It had better be an emergency."
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hexuality: (shut it out; someone's on top of me)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-11 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
i thought i'd be angry but i'm just

[Exhausted. Upset. Everything she couldn't feel until five minutes ago so now it's too much.]

tired.
Edited (sorry omg this is why i need to proofread) 2013-10-11 22:39 (UTC)
hexuality: (unsure; secretly thinks you're crazy)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-11 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
i need to get out of my flat. i can deliver. where?

this was easier when we were neighbours. i'd just go up and knock.
hexuality: (sinking; oncoming)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
[She goes before she can change her mind, Apparating there instead of flying. There's a box of obscenely sweet, sparkling cupcakes in her hands and she knocks with her foot. It's cold and that's about the only thing that tells her that she forgot a jacket and the wind makes her eyes burn because it has to be the wind, she's not on the verge of tears for stupid, stupid reasons. She's just here to bring him cupcakes. That's all.]
hexuality: (worn down; out of ideas)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
[That earns a laugh, short and soft.]

I like food, but not enough to deliver it for a living. You're just special. I did mean that earlier today.

[Ginny holds out the box to him, her smile flickering and she has to bite down on her lip to keep it from dying altogether and she should just go. She thought that it'd be good to see the most familiar face she knows in the City and maybe it would be easy to just talk, but the old habit of locking that all up kicks in; that, and the less-familiar instinct to retreat.

Yeah, the City's gotten her shaken up. Something feels wrong in her bones, like magic, and the dreams for days on end have left her exhausted and stretched thin.]


Here. Maybe you could bring them to work.
hexuality: (flushed; verge)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
[She tenses a fraction under his touch and an excuse or something like it jumps to her lips and then he holds out the CD. It's the most inexplicable thing, she doesn't even remember why he's giving her that at first, and then it doesn't even matter because she just takes a breath and suddenly she's crying—it's silent but her shoulders are shaking over this stupid little act of kindness, because she's been happy all day, painfully so, and now the rest is catching up, everything built up over the day and the past few weeks.]
hexuality: (rarely weepy; breaking point)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
[This is the first time she's cried in front of him in all the time she's known him because she's had to keep it together, even when she was stabbed, and she'd been close then but not quite there. Ginny buries her face in his shoulder and crumples in his arms, hands curling into his back and just getting it all out.This time of year is always hard for her, harder this time around than the rest—Octobers are horrible, she can't calm the (almost) irrational worry that everyone will leave her before Christmas as they always do, and she'll hit five years in the City.

But now, it's the fact that it's been over a year since the war and it's still wrecking her on the inside and she hasn't told anyone about how bad it's gotten, not really. (She can't tell Remus, he's just sixteen.) Then today happened and she feels raw and turned inside-out and it's stupid, she's better than this, but she's still clinging to Chase and sobbing because she's so tired.]


Sorry— [Muffled, ragged.]
hexuality: (bed hair; rude awakening)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Moving jolts her out of it enough to suck in a breath, it's true, and it shudders through her and her hands relax on him but she doesn't straighten until she can catch her breath. It comes in quick pants, but one hand snakes around to scrub furiously at her face, but she's still shaking.]

No, I don't know what— [She draws away from him now, both hands swiping over her eyes and pushing through her hair, exhaling, throat tight.] Long day.
hexuality: (breath caught; a moment)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[No, she didn't miss him, then. She knew, of course, but it was when he'd been pushing everyone away and she'd tried to stick it out, hoped that he'd remember her because in a lot of ways, he was all she had left. It's probably why

She follows him without protest because it's not like she can hide what just happened and maybe it's better that it's here and not with Remus or alone—again—because Chase knows her best, it's not like she has to explain everything to him. Maybe just this, if he asks or if she's forthcoming in the first place. And she should be, it's gone on long enough. So she goes with him, leaning into him, and when he settles her down on the couch, she draws her wand and quietly cleans off his shirt with a little flick.

It's still shaking in her grip so she sets it aside quickly after, breath still hitched as she tries to get her breathing under control, eyes and cheeks hot. Quietly, through hiccups,]


Had that curse three times now... Was never this bad.
hexuality: (looking but not seeing; what hope?)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
[That, she doesn't know. But when did he ever find out she'd been tortured? That isn't something she shares, either. So she bottles the memories buried in the nightmares, drowns them out with potions she lies about brewing and taking, throws herself into the sky and into work. And she doesn't say a damn thing; all smiles, but today pushed that to the extreme and when midnight hit, it all punched her in the gut.

So he's right. She wasn't feeling this bad before because she'd had her birthday and new friends. Then Remus arrived, young and oblivious to the future he's going to lead, and she can't tell him any of it. Ginny takes the offered wine and tucks herself as small as possible into the corner of the sofa and blinks tears from her lashes as she takes a deep drink and grimaces but keeps going. She swipes her thumb at her eyes again.]


No. [Then, with weak teasing,] But thanks for not kicking me out.
hexuality: (ordeal; to mourn a victory)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
[Once upon a time, she would have lied to him. But that was when she was a teenager who thought the war made her an adult, that she could handle everything alone. And then it all happened and it all drove home that she was a child—still is, in a lot of ways, it doesn't matter how many birthdays she's had in the City.

As it is, she doesn't answer him at first. She thinks of how she could have admitted any of this to Chakotay, but the conversation had veered elsewhere and she was grateful for it because it meant she could pretend for a bit longer. She thinks of how she did this with Bucky a summer ago then never let it happen again despite promises to come to him if anything happened.

Chase may not remember all of it, but she does. He's known her the best.]


Can't sleep. [It sounds innocuous, but her voice breaks on it.] I know it's the City, but even before that, I haven't... [Saying it makes it real, but—] I thought, since it's been a year since the—since I've— [since Fred and Remus and Tonks and Mad-Eye and the DA and Bellatrix's killing curse and Harry's dead body and] I'm just tired.

[And she is, it's clear in her face.]
hexuality: (too much; crumbling; avoidance)

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[personal profile] hexuality 2013-10-12 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Reckless, suicidal bravery. It's true. The revolution here filled a hole she didn't know she had, was afraid to delve into because it spoke of something wrong. She threw herself into the thick of it, everyone knows that, and it felt right. Because the war was all she knew. His question has ice settling in her stomach and she drinks to put it out but it doesn't help.

Bucky asked her once if she thought about speaking to someone, getting some proper help. She challenged him with the exact same question, knowing the answer; they're both too proud, too stubborn, too alike. And the subject was dropped.

She gives a jerky little movement, though, something of cross between a nod and a shrug.]


I've always had nightmares, Chase.