intheblanks | ➹BEEPER

wasn't trying to get over anything, just forget it. and the more forgettable women i slept with the less it felt like cheating on my wife.

Yeah, I got that. Maybe I was talking about me.

i'm sorry, about your mum.

Yeah.

It was my fault, I keep thinking.

every kid who loses a parent blames themselves. doesn't matter if it was cancer or suicide or - whatever. You feel like, if you'd loved them enough...

I only saw her as my mum for that one day. Just that one day when she proved that she really did love us. Years and years of nothing, then one day and she was gone.

do you reckon one day's better than nothing?

Anything is better than nothing. It's knowing your mum cares for you.

then i'm glad you got to know.

...I want you to know I'm not asking this today because we can't help but be honest and upfront and explain everything there is to explain about are lives, but did you?

that's exactly why you're asking. but i've known how you felt about your mother since some candy curse more than a year ago now. i guess the turnabout's fair.

mum had three big love affairs in her life. dad, god and the bottle. she spent so much time trying to get the first two to show her some kind of affection that there wasn't a lot left for her kids. she probably cared. i was always too afraid to ask.

No it isn't. Wait, you knew?

She's gone, too.

i ate about ninety sugar hearts that day. don't even like them. when you're the closest person to normal in a city of things that can eat you its worth knowing a few secrets. i wouldn't tell you that any other day, either.

my mum?

I didn't ask because I knew you would tell me since it's impossible to help ourselves right now. I like people being honest with me and telling me things because they want to and they trust me. So it's not turnabout - I'd have asked you any other day, if the conversation would've led there.

You spoke of her in past tense.

i don't really do the confiding in people thing. even the ones i trust. tried it, didn't work out well.

her slow suicide attempt finally paid off when i was nineteen. still. saved me from becoming a man of faith.

I'm sorry.

long time ago.

Even so.

You could try it again. Not everyone's bound to betray your trust.

she didn't betray me. she just couldn't love me anymore.

you should stop replying now.

Okay.

back home my job involved treating one-in-a-million cases, the people no other doctors could help. since coming here i've worked with witches and magicians and demons and demon hunters, and probably a few conmen and the one thing they have in common is how normal they are. you've never seemed weird.

i haven't felt normal in a while.

I've run away from that definition for a very long time. It's not so bad.

weird, or normal?

It depends on the day. I don't mind being quirky, even if confuses people - maybe part of why I am who I am is to confuse most people, or let's call it adolescent rebellion. But normal can be good, from time to time.

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